Thursday, November 3, 2011

Boringness

I keep trying to come up with stuff to write, but ever since Zach left I can't come up with anything.  Nothing clever comes to mind, nothing insightful, nothing even remotely interesting.  Apparently when left to myself, I'm a boring girl.  Kinda makes me wonder how I was interesting enough to marry in the first place.  :) 

I'm hoping I'm just in a phase that's dull because I'm still kind of lost.  I'm like a puppy dog that was left behind.  I don't know what to do really.  My whole life got turned upside down, and how I know it's only temporary, he will be back, it's still hard because he's my everything.

Interesting, hmmmm.......yeah, I got nothing.  Thanksgiving is coming up, but everyone already knows that.  But before that is my anniversary and then my birthday.  It will be 7 years of being happily (more like estatically) married.  And I will be having a birthday in the "20's" for the last time.  I'm not sure how I feel about that. I was starting to take it kind of hard, but last Sunday the Starbucks guy asked me if Autumn was my little sister. :)  I could have hugged him for that.  I did thank him. 

So I'm realizing that my blog isn't following the theme I set up for it.  I'm quite random on what I talk about and it doesn't always fit in with my original ideas of what it would be.  So, I'm just going to change what it says my blog is about.  I'm realizing that I'm random and that one theme to write about for my life isn't going to happen. As much as I love RV'ing, we don't have an rv right now, so I'm not sure how to write about that. I'm still trying to fight my consumerism urges, sometimes I don't win that battle as much as I would like to, but I still try.  :)  

Yep, after careful consideration, I've decided to re-theme the blog (again).  What can I say?   If I want to post as often as I would like to, I can't be stuck with a strict theme.  God is constantly changing me, so to limit myself to a particular area is kinda crazy.  He made me random, so that's what I am.  :)

Friday, October 7, 2011

A Trip and Some Temporary Changes

I wish I had something insightful to talk about today.  But I don't.  Well, I have plenty of things I could get into, I do love to talk.  But today has been a crying kind of day.  I should be estatic, I've been packing all day for a trip away from home.  The kind of trip where we drop our daughter off with her grandparents for 5 days and spend time just me and my love. 

But the reason we are taking this trip together is because my love is deploying, in the near future.  Before he goes, we are going to have some time together.  So yes, I should be very excited about my trip (though I've never been away from my daughter for more than 2 nights, and that is causing some stress too).  But all I can do is think about why we're doing it. I don't want to ruin our trip because I was sad the whole time.  I want to enjoy it.

We're planning on going gold panning, visiting some very dear friends and some wonderful family, visiting a winery or two, just spending some time together.  He will be gone for the holidays, our anniversary and my birthday (coming home just in time for his birthday, the little stinker).  So we are celebrating everything now. 

So my blog is probably going in a slightly different direction for the next few months.  I'm going to try and be transparent about this whole deployment.  There might be days I'm strong and other days I'm a whiny little kid (I give you full permission to skip reading those days).  I'm hoping that by posting here, instead of my facebook page, I won't alienate too many of my friends who will inevitably get tired of the whining about missing my love. 

You see, he and I have learned to do everything together.  We never have put down roots and tried to be a part of a community, so it's always been just us.  So when we're apart, it's torture (not unlike a lot of marriages).  But since we've been at our new home, we've tried to be active in finding friends.  We belong to an amazing church (which I will be depending on sooo much to help me get through).  So, in a way we will be forced to grow as individuals while we're apart (I'm really getting into sewing and quilting even starting a ministry at our church), but still staying connected (even more so) as a couple. 

If you know me, you know how absolutely crazy I am about him (I still like to doodle his name like a school girl does with her crush).  So, please be kind when I ramble about him and how much I miss him. 

Until next time.....

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Thorns

I have a Bible.

That statement might not seem too crazy or profound, but in some places I would be put to death for saying that.  That's not really what my post is about, but it seemed a good way to open. 

No, my post today is about what I read in that Bible that I have.  I actually have 3.  I have my little one that I take everywhere with me, it fits in all of my purses. I have my study Bible that I use to look things up, and I also have my 1 year daily reading Bible.  It's in chronological order of when the books of the Bible were written.

Today I read about the parable Jesus told about seed being scattered.  In case you aren't familiar with it I'll share it with you.  This is Mark 4:3-9

"Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seed. As he scattered it across his field, some of the seed fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate it. Other seed fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seed sprouted quiclky because the soil was shallow.  But the plant soon wilted under the hot sun, and since it didn't have deep roots, it died. Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants so they produced no grain.  Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they sprouted, grew, and produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!" Then he said, "Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand."

Jesus taught by telling stories.  The crowd he told this parable to was likely full of farmers and they would have understood what he meant.  Jesus' disciples on the other hand didn't quite understand.  So he explained it to them. 

Now, I've read this scripture before, but today, the explanation has jumped out at me.  I had to share it.  This is how Jesus explained it to his disciples. Mark 4:14-20

"The farmer plants seed by taking God's word to others.  The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. The seed on the rocky soul rempresents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don't have deep roots, they don't last long.  They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God's word.  The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God's word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced. (emphasis added is mine)  And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God's wrod and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted."

I know, that's a lot of scripture at once.  But how can I do the parable justice by only telling the part that I want to talk about?  So I just emphasized the part that struck me, (maybe another part will strike you). 

We all have thorns.  We all have those things in this life that crowd out the message that God gives us. When I go on and on about how I don't want stuff.  How I want to try and not care if I have the newest gadgets or if my car is new and shiny.  Those are the thorns that I'm talking about.  I see the things of this world as my thorns. 

I read in my Bible yesterday about Jesus and John the Baptist living totally different lives.  Luke 7:33-35 says- "For John the Baptist didn't spend his time eating bread or drinking wine, and you say, 'He's possessed by a demon.' The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, 'He's a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!' But wisdom is shown to be right by the lives of those who follow it."

That last sentence tripped me up.  I had no clue what it meant, I actually had to call my mother in law and ask what it meant.  But it's basically saying that Jesus and John lived completely different lives, but they both lived the life they were supposed to live. 

I guess where I'm trying to go with this, is everyone has thorns.  We're all called to get rid of our thorns, but not everyone has the same thorns.  But, when you do figure out what your thorns are, it's time to do some pruning.  Everyday I find new thorns and I find that my old thorns are starting to grow back.  So, I have to grab my pruning shears and start cutting again.  Yes it hurts at times, but if I don't do it, I get lost in the thorns and that is even more painful.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Blessings In The Valley

I have so much to say, I just don't know how to say any of it.  There is so much running through my mind and so much starting to get put on my plate that I'm really excited about. But before I can start anything I have to jump head first into one of the deepest valleys I will face to date. 

I'm so excited to start my new projects, but dreading it because that means I'll be in my valley.  Luckily I know that God will fill my valley with love, peace and grace.  So I won't drown in my sorrows and self pity.  I'll be able to float, swim and sometimes just barely tread in His love, peace and grace. 

I've been told on many occasions that when you start to feel sorry for yourself that you should find someone worse off than you and then pray for them.  Even going out of your way to help them with something.  It puts your life back in perspective.  It makes you see how many blessings you really do have in your life. I'm looking forward to being able to help others.  To be able to minister to them and help. 

I'm just so thankful that I know my Savior. That I know where peace comes from and that I get to share that peace with others.  When you live a downsized lifestyle, you see how rich you truly are.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Still Alive

I'm a terrible blogger. It's been a year since I've written anything. I guess that's how life can be sometimes. It comes in waves. There's been a couple of times I've wanted to write something, but then I told myself that it's been so long, that I should just close it out.  But now I realize that life has different times in it and for the past year I've been in a different wave.

So I'm back, for now anyway.  :)  The plan is to stay, but who knows what the next wave will bring or when it will come.  So, the last time I posted we were still living in Florida.  We had just sold the RV and were moving into a house on base.  Well, now we live in Nevada.  It's hot here too.